once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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