thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
