He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
