I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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