And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
