In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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