that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
