Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
