You really coming over, don't trick.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
