ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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