He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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