You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
