i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
