return my video game
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
