**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
