RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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