Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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