good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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