Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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