I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
