So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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