There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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