i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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