I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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