i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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