nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
