Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
