Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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