The maid of honor just puked.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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