I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
