Apparently you make a good broom.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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