Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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