my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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