My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
