He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
