problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
