After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Never joke about your clitoris.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
