There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he shaved USA in his pubs
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
