But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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