yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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