help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
