Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
