Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
