So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
