So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
