why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
