Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
