a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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