wakey wakey hands off snakey
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
