I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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