The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
