in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
