We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
